You Learn

**not my writing but I love this.




After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn...
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth...
And you learn and learn...
With every good-bye you learn.




Jorge Luis Borges
Translation by Veronica A. Shoffstall

Old friend.

I had a dream about you last night.
It was nice, it was warm. We were at the beach and we were walking in the water. You took me by the hands and swung me around. Up, and out of the waves. We were laughing. We were happy. Everyone was there.

I have dreams about you a lot. Dreams that mean more to me than I could ever say. A love that strong never dies. You were my best friend. I wish with all my heart that I could get that back. But I know that I cannot.

We move on, we all move on. It is apart of life. I will never let you go. I will never forget the happy moments, like this dream shows. I hope that one day we can be close again. I hope that one day you will truly share your heart with me.

All these hopes, I can write. All these dreams I can pray, will one day come true. I am and will always be here. I always have. I'm sorry that we both forgot that.

I sit here tonight, dreaming that one day we will have a love if not as strong as it used to be, strong enough to keep us close. I sit here waiting for you to reach out. I have reached almost as far as my soul will let me. One day I will be able to reach no further. I hope that you grab on before that day comes upon us. My dear, old, friend.









**I feel I must make one thing clear. This post is not about a single person. It is about multiple. Multiple relationships all different in their own way.

I am not sorry.

When I write, I do not write lightly. I am going to write what is on my mind, what is on my heart. It may be overwhelming, especially for those who know it is about them. My emotions are strong, stronger than most. Or maybe I just show them, when others hold them in. I have apologized many times, but I want to clear some things up. I am not sorry. Why should I apologize for what I feel? No one can control how they feel, what they feel. As much as we want to, as much as we try to, we can't. All things pass with time, sure, but sometimes that time is years. No one should hold things in, it is not good for your mind, your heart, or your soul. We all must find a way to get certain feelings out. Trust me, you will feel a hell of a lot better. My way is to write. I'm sure that is no secret by now. Here I am literally shaking while I write because I have so much emotion, so much passion. Why should I be sorry? Yes, a majority of the words I have written are not to be shown to the public, but I got it out. I am able to get my feelings out. It is like screaming on top of a mountain. It is like crying until you can't breath, it is like laughing until it hurts. It is a rush of adrenaline. It is refreshing. It is cleansing. When I post something I am not looking for attention, I am not looking for praise. I am simply posting it because I want to help. I want you to feel. I want you to cry, to laugh, to smile... with me. Some could say that my words are too strong, but they're not. Guess what. It is emotion. There is no such thing as an emotion that is too strong. I write what I cannot speak. I write with strength, with power. I write because the paper cannot interrupt me. I write what is true for me. I write because writing does not scare me.