My soul will never stop dancing for you.

Open your eyes, my friend. Look at what you are missing. Look at the hearts you have hurt. Some that loved you most, now flinch in terror at your name. What happened? Don't tell me life. Tell me what really happened. 

Things have changed. Things will continue changing. It is apart of life right? Then why is it so damn hard? Why does it kill me to be in a room full of people who are so loving, so close, such a big part of my life but yet I have this feeling, this aching feeling of jealousy? Jealousy of their relationships. Jealousy of their memories. I cannot help but think... I used to have this, I used to be in a group this close. What happened? I know, I know... life happened, right? 

How can a group that was once so close barely even talk any more? Aren't true friends supposed to stick by your side no matter what? Doesn't a relationship take both sides? 

I have tried. I have tried my hardest to keep relationships alive and strong but a heart can only take so much. Now I sit back, waiting for that phone call, for that email, text... whatever. Just some sort of a reach out... just some sort of a " I still care." But I keep sitting.

Alone.

But not alone.

I have these amazing people around me. But the relationships we share are still so new... so fresh. Still in the beginning... still figuring out what is right, what is to far. 

This heart of mine is a blessing, but at the same time such a burden. 

I cannot let go. I still think of relationships that ended years ago. It is not because I am afraid of change. I have found that I thrive on change. I need change...

It is because I value, I care, I love.

I love with all I have. It is who I am. Sometimes it is too strong. But get used to it. Feel it. Soak it up. It may be a love that only I can show. Even if we haven't talked in years. I am always here.

Always here. 

You can let me sit here. In my peace of love. You can let me sit here while my soul dances, but when you come crawling back, I will be here. My heart will never close. My soul will never stop dancing for you. My heart will never shut down. 

They act like they are too good for me, for many. All I can think is that, one day you will realize how fucked up your views are. One day you will realize what love you have been missing out on. It may not be my specific love that you come to realize you are missing, but you shut out so many that do not walk your walk. 

True, life gives us these pains. But there is more to the story than "life."

So tell your story.... what really happened.